


hashtag goals

by saltysfeathers (saltyfeathers)



Series: hashtag relatable [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bunker Fluff, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 06:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3718948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyfeathers/pseuds/saltysfeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the one with the relationship stuff.</p>
<p>don't use wd-40 as lube, kids</p>
            </blockquote>





	hashtag goals

sometimes dean and cas do stuff that people in relationships do. because they’re in a relationship. and they’re people. and they do stuff.

sometimes they have really boring sex. like not in a bad way. It could be a handy on the couch while they’re both reading. It could be a blow job dean has to give up halfway through because he’s been chewing gum all day and his jaw is just too achy. sometimes when they’re doing it they try and coordinate to-do lists and errands that need to be run the next day, so cas’ dick will be in dean’s ass when he asks, “wait, didn’t you say we still needed wd-40 for that storeroom door?” and dean is half gasping because he’s getting fucked and half groaning because yes, he did say that, and yes, he did forget to pick it up last time he was out. there was that time cas got him off while reading the grocery list to him, list in one hand and the other with two fingers in him. dean couldn’t look at hamburger buns for a week after that because he was afraid he’d get an erection.

their sex isn’t always boring though.

sometimes it just goes… completely off the rails. and not necessarily off the _this is so fucking hot, choo choo motherfucker_ rails, just like… it just gets wild. things just go wrong, often and in ways that make dean wonder if he really is going to get punished one day for having sex with a former member of the heavenly host. god would probably be a hell of a dad-in-law.  

there was the time cas literally choked on dean’s come and that was… well that was certainly something. It was a while ago now and cas was still relatively new to wrapping his mouth around something that wasn’t a hamburger, so dean was trying to like, get him to chill out a bit, but cas was insistent and dean had a mouth wrapped around his cock so all in all a lot of things were happening at once. he kept saying, “babe, babe, it’s ok, just relax,” but also he kept fisting his hands in cas’ hair which was probably sending more than a few mixed signals. then of course when he was actually gonna come and he pulled cas’ hair to let him know, he had already been doing it the whole job, so cas ended up missing the hint and being completely unprepared to deal with the sudden wad dean just shot down his throat. and then dean had to drop to his knees, dick still out and swingin’, thumping cas on the back and watching as he coughed dean’s come back up. It was kinda gross. and eye opening, even. after that they kind of had to admit that maybe they had some communication issues. eventually, it was funny. funnier to dean than to cas, but still funny.

there was the time cas accidentally kneed dean right in the junk as they were falling into bed together, and the momentum was enough that it knocked dean’s dick out of commission for the next twenty four hours, which he complained ruthlessly about, and threw a glass of water in sam’s face when he asked what was wrong. cas felt bad, but not bad enough to keep him from almost bursting into laughter whenever dean limped into or out of a room. he did make sure to attend to dean very thoroughly when he was feeling better, however.

then there’s the story of the first time they kissed, which was a complete and utter disaster. at least if they had been drunk, there would have been an excuse. but the kicker was that they were both stone cold sober and dean was so nervous he literally ended up smashing his nose into cas’ face hard enough that his nose started bleeding. but oh, it didn’t start bleeding right away. dean’s fucking nose waited to start bleeding until after he had awkwardly apologized and they tried again, and then he (somehow??? dean honestly cant remember and is fucking better off for it) ended up biting cas’ tongue. then when cas pulled away, his face COVERED IN BLOOD dean was convinced for like an entire five seconds that he had managed to bite cas’ tongue clean off and thus cementing this as the worst first kiss in HISTORY, but nope, cas was just inspecting the tongue dean had just bit, and calmly informed him that his nose was now bleeding. they gave up after that, took an intermission as dean attempted to put his life back together and gather his dignity up off the floor while cas drank cold water to make his tongue feel better and gently wiped blood off both his and dean’s faces.

“well hey when we first met I stabbed you in the heart so I guess this is pretty par for the course, huh?” dean had joked, even though he was completely mortified and contemplating the nearest revolving door he could lock himself in forever.

“when we first met I was pulling you out of hell,” cas corrected. “I suppose it sets a certain precedent, although you should remember that the only direction we could have gone from there is up.”

“your colloquialisms fuck me up, cas.”

“well your face just fucked up my face so I’d like to think we’ve even.”

 they eventually got it right. dean learned properly where cas’ nose was in relation to his own, and also exactly how much give room he had before he was making out with cas’ chin instead of his mouth, because that was also a thing that happened once. alcohol _was_ involved this time though, at least.

ever since that first complete wash of a kiss, they haven’t gotten it right every time. sometimes cas’ elbows slip when they’re fucking and he ends up crushing dean when he collapses onto him in the middle of sex. sometimes they try fucking in the shower and it ends up with both of them slipping and completely decimating the shampoo rack, only for sam to burst in in a panic thinking someone just died, and having to endure the very naked sight of dean and cas sprawled out like complete assholes on the bathroom floor surrounded by herbal essences. once cas tried fucking dean on the table in the library and it broke clean in two, which was an interesting conversation with sam the next day, especially since dean had to buy an icy hot pack for his back because falling through a table he’s about to get fucked on hurts a lot. who woulda thunk. sam kept looking at the icy hot pack like it had betrayed him.

they started getting it right eventually though. things still go wrong in the worst kind of fashion, of course. like last night, cas had been inside him for maybe three minutes when he sneezed, which _may_ (he’s not necessarily copping to anything)have accidentally kick started an orgasm he wasn’t quite ready to have, leaving cas glaring down at him with a still very hard cock up his butt. dean just told him to keep going, and literally laughed for the next ten minutes straight, either feeling  giddy as fuck or getting fucked giddy. probably both. cas was only being a poor sport because the idea of a sneeze beating him to giving dean an orgasm was a hit to his ego.  

but they get it right a lot of the time too. like when cas walks into the kitchen the morning before a hunt looking like he’s about to murder anyone who even came up with the idea of 6am, and dean smiles at him over the rim of his cup with a, “morning sunshine” and a steaming mug of coffee already waiting for him. or when dean has those days where he does nothing but look at old pictures of his mom for hours, and cas sits next to him silently with an anchoring hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles, and offering a shoulder whenever dean feels the needs a place to rest his head.

yeah. they’re not perfect. they’re always working on it.

but to be fair, they got from dean stabbing cas in the heart to a whole other kind of penetration and yknow. are also in love and stuff. so not bad.


End file.
